In which many firsts are achieved in a very short period of time
Our lives are full of firsts. Our first breath, our first cry, that first step, our first word, our first day at school. Then there is that first trip that we take on our own. I was only ten when I traveled as an unaccompanied minor from the island of Cyprus, where I lived, to meet my grandmother in Ireland. My first real job was working at a zoo on the island of Jersey when I was sixteen. That was quite an adventure!
Sometimes firsts are a natural, inevitable occurrence. Babies will say their first word, little children will inevitably say, "No!" and we all fall in love for the first time at some point in our lives. At other times firsts are forced on us by circumstance or by biology. We all get sick for the first time; we all lose a friend or family member to death for the first time. Often these kinds of firsts are painful, literally and/or emotionally.
Then there are the firsts that we choose. Sometimes these kinds of firsts don't really feel like they are much of a choice at all, but literally speaking they are. For example, in my life one of the big firsts I had to make was moving to a foreign country to find a job. Though I had been an American citizen all my life, from birth, I had never lived here. After finishing university I had to decide where I was going to go. I could legally work in two countries because I was a citizen of the United States through my mother, and was Indian because that was my father's nationality. I had spent a summer in India working on my dissertation and decided that I did not want to start my working life there as a single woman who did not know anyone in that country. I could have gone back to Cyprus and applied for a work permit, but what would I have done? What kind of work could I, am English speaking zoologist, have found on that small Mediterranean island? So, for the first time, I set off to live in the country where my mother was born.
Since then there have been so many firsts over the years, but I have to say that in the last few weeks I have managed to pack a lot of firsts into a very short period of time.
It began with my flying to Las Vegas to see my aunt Martha. This was the first trip that I had taken on my own since I got long Covid and I won’t pretend that I wasn’t very nervous about it. Since I got Long Covid travel has been difficult. It tends to overtire me, which then causes me to 'crash' and get sick. So, traveling on my own to Las Vegas was a first, of a kind.
Once I got there, I faced the monumental task of getting to know a relative who I had spent very little time with and barely knew. It turned out that this first was a lot easier than I thought it would be because my aunt and I very quickly developed a rapport, and I became very fond of her in a relatively short period of time. We are both curious lifelong learners, we both value family, and we both believe in taking care others. We therefore have a strong foundation of common interests and beliefs that we share.
As I was getting to know Martha, I also had to put together a plan to help her start a new life in Ashland. Before I left home, I had no idea what the plan was going to look like. I wasn’t there long before I realized that Aunt Martha really needed somebody to take on the many responsibilities of daily living that she has held in her hands for so many years and now wants to let go of. I am sure that if I were in her shoes I would feel the same way. How many of us would, at the age of ninety-three, want to have to deal with taking care of a house, grocery shopping, managing bills and taxes, and all the other chores and errands that fill our lives. She is ready for a true vacation and it is my intention to give it to her; to make her life as trouble free and comfortable as I can possibly manage.
And so I began, for the first time in my life, to learn about the behind-the-scenes financial aspects of life in the modern world. I have always been a Words Person and not a Numbers Person, and so Brian, who is a master numbers man, has always taken care of our financial matters. At Martha’s house I learned an awful lot about banks, investments, and other financial matters that I quite frankly thought were beyond me. It turns out that they aren’t. It would appear that when somebody depends on me to understand how things work, I somehow find a way to do so. I won’t say that the process was easy. It most certainly was not, but I figured things out in the end. This discovery was a big first.
I also learned how to comprehend legalese enough that I understood the salient points of the legal documents that I needed to read, which then made it possible for me to ask the right questions of the right people. I was very lucky that everyone I appealed to for help was very generous with their time and their expertise.
By the time I left Las Vegas I had a plan in place and had put things into motion. For the first time I had consulted a lawyer, talked to an investment banker, and studied a trust document until I was cross eyed. I also put together a timeline so that I would be driving my aunt to Ashland in the middle of February. That journey will be another first.
Realizing that I am now responsible for the well-being of this wonderful lady is the biggest first of all. It is a lot to take in, but at the same time, I am glad that I am in a position to be able to do this service for her.
Having been chronically ill for quite a few years in my life, off and on, I know how valuable the help of others is. My husband has been my rock for so long, my daughter has helped me often, even when she was still quite young. My friends have called, written, and helped whenever they could, and my mother has been my stalwart supporter through some of the darkest of days. Having been the recipient of so much care and support, surely it is only right that I should return the favor when I am given the opportunity to do so. Isn't it a privilege to be able to pass on to someone else what so many people have have so generously given to me over the years? And so, Aunt Martha and I will take many first steps, and no doubt have many adventures, in the months and years ahead.
Since then there have been so many firsts over the years, but I have to say that in the last few weeks I have managed to pack a lot of firsts into a very short period of time.
It began with my flying to Las Vegas to see my aunt Martha. This was the first trip that I had taken on my own since I got long Covid and I won’t pretend that I wasn’t very nervous about it. Since I got Long Covid travel has been difficult. It tends to overtire me, which then causes me to 'crash' and get sick. So, traveling on my own to Las Vegas was a first, of a kind.
Once I got there, I faced the monumental task of getting to know a relative who I had spent very little time with and barely knew. It turned out that this first was a lot easier than I thought it would be because my aunt and I very quickly developed a rapport, and I became very fond of her in a relatively short period of time. We are both curious lifelong learners, we both value family, and we both believe in taking care others. We therefore have a strong foundation of common interests and beliefs that we share.
As I was getting to know Martha, I also had to put together a plan to help her start a new life in Ashland. Before I left home, I had no idea what the plan was going to look like. I wasn’t there long before I realized that Aunt Martha really needed somebody to take on the many responsibilities of daily living that she has held in her hands for so many years and now wants to let go of. I am sure that if I were in her shoes I would feel the same way. How many of us would, at the age of ninety-three, want to have to deal with taking care of a house, grocery shopping, managing bills and taxes, and all the other chores and errands that fill our lives. She is ready for a true vacation and it is my intention to give it to her; to make her life as trouble free and comfortable as I can possibly manage.
And so I began, for the first time in my life, to learn about the behind-the-scenes financial aspects of life in the modern world. I have always been a Words Person and not a Numbers Person, and so Brian, who is a master numbers man, has always taken care of our financial matters. At Martha’s house I learned an awful lot about banks, investments, and other financial matters that I quite frankly thought were beyond me. It turns out that they aren’t. It would appear that when somebody depends on me to understand how things work, I somehow find a way to do so. I won’t say that the process was easy. It most certainly was not, but I figured things out in the end. This discovery was a big first.
I also learned how to comprehend legalese enough that I understood the salient points of the legal documents that I needed to read, which then made it possible for me to ask the right questions of the right people. I was very lucky that everyone I appealed to for help was very generous with their time and their expertise.
By the time I left Las Vegas I had a plan in place and had put things into motion. For the first time I had consulted a lawyer, talked to an investment banker, and studied a trust document until I was cross eyed. I also put together a timeline so that I would be driving my aunt to Ashland in the middle of February. That journey will be another first.
Realizing that I am now responsible for the well-being of this wonderful lady is the biggest first of all. It is a lot to take in, but at the same time, I am glad that I am in a position to be able to do this service for her.
Having been chronically ill for quite a few years in my life, off and on, I know how valuable the help of others is. My husband has been my rock for so long, my daughter has helped me often, even when she was still quite young. My friends have called, written, and helped whenever they could, and my mother has been my stalwart supporter through some of the darkest of days. Having been the recipient of so much care and support, surely it is only right that I should return the favor when I am given the opportunity to do so. Isn't it a privilege to be able to pass on to someone else what so many people have have so generously given to me over the years? And so, Aunt Martha and I will take many first steps, and no doubt have many adventures, in the months and years ahead.
Art by Starlene
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