The adventures of a Minor Mage. And an armadillo

 

“Oliver was a very minor mage.

His familiar reminded him of this several times a day.

He only knew three spells, and one of them was to control his allergy to armadillo dander. His attempts to summon elementals resulted in nosebleeds, and there is nothing more embarrassing than having your elemental leave the circle to get you a tissue, pat you comfortingly, and then disappear in a puff of magic. The armadillo had about wet himself laughing.”

And so the story begins. This is a beginning that practically drags the reader into the story, a beginning that is both funny and poignant. And it summons up questions too. Why is he a minor mage and not a major mage? And who is this armadillo whose laughter can be heard?
   Allow me to explain. Oliver is a minor mage because his master was so old when he took Oliver on as an apprentice that he was, to put it kindly, not a very good teacher. It wasn’t the poor man’s fault. Age had taken his toll and he had trouble remembering things; indeed he became quite senile. This venerable mage, who had been very skilled in his younger years, had an old armadillo as a familiar. She had a litter of pups, and one of them chose Oliver by staggering over to him and peeing on his foot.

   Now the armadillo is an adult and since it is a mage’s familiar, it can speak the human tongue. Both Oliver’s master and his master’s familiar have left this world, and Oliver has done his best take his master’s place and serve his community. He has his three spells, and has added to that by learning how to make a variety of useful charms, and potions using plants. He has managed to help the people in his village using these tools, meager as they are, and he continues to educate himself using two books. He would dearly love to be able to make himself invisible, and he has tried many times, but the spell is a complicated one and all of Oliver’s attempts have been hopeless failures. The armadillo frequently comments, somewhat rudely, on how it would make more sense if Oliver would try working on a simpler spell, which the boy finds very annoying.

   Lately, during his ramblings, Oliver has noticed that the land is not as it should be. Plants are withered,

the ground is hard and dry, and the streams were full of mud instead of water. The marsh is dry and trees are losing their leaves. There is no denying it; the village and its environs are in the grip of a drought. Oliver, who is only twelve, decides that he has to do something. Unfortunately, before he has the time to carry out his plan, the villagers come to him and demand, very aggressively, that he travel to the Rainblade Mountains to ask the Cloud Herders to send rain to the village.

   Oliver’s predecessor had made the journey, but he had been twenty-five when he had first done so. By the time Oliver became his apprentice the old mage was too lost in his mind to give Oliver much information about the journey, nor could he tell Oliver what he should do once he got to his destination. All Oliver can do now is to head down the road towards the Rainblade Mountains and hope that his questions somehow answer themselves.

   The land that Oliver walks through is dried up, uncultivated, and any dwellings he finds have been abandoned. It is a dismal place, and Oliver is heartily sick of it in a very short period of time. He discovers that sleeping on the ground with only a lumpy bag for a pillow is not conducive to getting any sleep. He is therefore delighted when he finally comes to a farm that appears to be occupied. He asks if might sleep in the farmer’s barn, and is thrilled when he is invited to supper.

   The farmer and his wife are very odd, and after a strange meal Oliver is very glad to go out to the barn. Once he is inside the farmer walks out and for some reason he bars the barn’s doors after him, locking Oliver in. There are two pigs in the barn who are apparently quite terrified. The armadillo manages to communicate with them on a very basic level and finds out that something very bad indeed happened on the farm. Oliver and the armadillo decide that the best thing to do is to get out of that barn and far away as quickly as possible. Oliver uses one of his three spells to lift the bar on the door up, and then with the help of the pigs they break out. The pigs make a run for it and Oliver hides in a lilac bush next to the house. He then overhears the farmer and his wife speaking to each other, which is when he discovers that they are ghuls, creatures which are also called ghouls, Draugs or Corpseaters. In short they are monsters that can masquerade as humans, and their favorite food his human flesh.

   What follows is an adventure unlike any other. An adventure in which bandits, a useless young mage on the run, and a bloodthirsty mob led by a murderer are featured. There is also a massive haunted forest that has to be navigated and crossed. And all this happens before poor Oliver gets anywhere near the Rainblade mountains.

   T. Kingfisher is a master storyteller whose books have been whispering my name for the last few weeks, which is why I have read three of them in close succession. This one is funny, touched with magic, and quite captivating. You can’t help but hope that Oliver will succeed in his quest, but it seems that the odds are against him no matter what he does.